Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A Normal Weekend - Almost

The last weekend in June seemed like any other to us. The kids were all here with me and Mike decided to stay in Redmond for the weekend. I didn't think that was too odd. He had done that many times and we were planning to drive over to Redmond on Tuesday for a doctors appointment and would see him then.
By this time I knew that Mike was seeing a new doctor. He had stopped taking his Paxil and this was the doctor he was seeing to make sure things were all right. She was treating his thyroid but not doing much yet for the depression. I did not know that he had also gone back to see our therapist.
On Thursday when he saw the therapist, she could tell he was pretty down. She talked to him about committing himself to the hospital but he wouldn't. She would have committed him involuntarily but he knew exactly what to say and what not to say so she couldn't. She knew his Friday appointment with the other doctor would be crucial. They planned some safety catches for him if the appointment went bad and he agreed to try and follow them. Of course the appointment on Friday was very disappointing to him. The doctor told him that his thyroid was fine and he seemed to be coping so he should keep on living like he was. This was a major blow to him and he did not follow through with the safety plans made the day before. Instead he made up his mind to leave the pain and take his life into his own hands.
When I talked to him over the weekend he seemed happy and content. The therapist said it was because he had made up his mind and was alright about it. He seemed so happy that I didn't catch on to the real reason why.
Just a thought: If the HIPPA Law had exceptions for mental illness and people not able to think clearly for themselves, the therapist could have called me and this may have all been prevented??? Or at least postponed. . .

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Grace, you are so brave to share your thoughts with all who wish to read. I admire you for being smart enough and brave enough to share your feelings. I really do believe that it is a sign of your strength. So many people hide the truth from others and hiding only increases your pain. I know that you will grow through this. I am so sorry for the pain that you endured for all those years. And, I know that you are on the path to your own recovery and to the recovery for all of your family.

I miss you Grace. Bless you.