Sunday, September 28, 2008

Loneliness

I found myself in Redmond a week ago with nothing to do. I drove over for the day to take Rachel and some friends to a church dance. It was a long way to go for a dance, but it gave me the chance to go to the hospital to see my friend and her son. When I finally dropped the kids off at the dance, I found myself wondering around town with nothing to do and no one available to go see. That is when I decided to use some old gift certificates and go out to a nice dinner at Outback Steak House.
When I arrived they sat me down in the bar area which was weird for me. There I sat in the bar eating a fabulous steak dinner completely alone. It was kind of miserable. Of course they were playing love songs. I realized I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I'm too young to go out and eat by myself. It was one of the loneliest feelings I have ever had. The sadist part came when I handed the gift card to the waitress. The card said on it, "To mom and dad, love the kids." The card should have been used for a nice dinner date but turned out to be used for one of the loneliest dinners I've ever eaten.

2 comments:

Super Angie said...

I love you Grace!

Glad you went out to dinner...some people would have sat at home, in a dark corner. You are brave.

Grace Marie said...

Thanks, tonight I led the music for a ward sing-a-long. I wasn't sure how I would do since music can be so moving and many songs have strong memories, but I did alright. I am forcing myself not to sit at home in a dark corner and sometimes that is hard! A few judgmental people feel I am callus because I am not home mourning all the time. Oh well, to each his own.