Sometimes I Want to Shut this World Out of My Life

Today has been a slow day, slow in the sense that my mind won't stop dwelling on certain things so I can get other things done.  I find it interesting that what started out as just letting my thought get out of my head and not really thinking people would care to read them, turned into having so many hits and now things I can't discuss because of who may read it! I need a vacation from this town, my computer and life in general...is that possible?

Good News/Bad New
#1 Good news is I beat the IRS! The case in now closed and they own me over paid taxes. That is pretty amazing to state when just 2 years ago they wanted over $90,000 from me for 15 years of extensions filed, over paid but never completed and I fought most of the battle alone. I have to thank Maria Cantwell's office for finding me a tax advocate to help me settle the last 4 years that the IRS was fighting with me on. It is over and I won! No lawyers, no fees, no payments, just hard investigative work on my part to prove their errors.
#1 Bad news is I will probably never get back the investment I made right after Mike's death to someone I thought I could trust but was wrong.
#2 Good news is I have amazing children with high standards that I can trust and who have always told me the truth. That is an amazing thing in this world of sin and confusion. They are my rock. In fact, a lot of the time they are way better then I am.
#2 Bad news is that bad decisions on my part, have led to gossip and problems for the one child who is so strong in values that anyone who truly knew them would never even suggest such a things.
#3 Good news my youngest, Rachel, was crowned Homecoming Queen last weekend. She was truly shocked. I didn't know if she would win or not but I new she deserved it. She has changed so much over the last four years and has really tried to come out of her quiet, shy, shell.
#3 Bad news is some people see her shyness as stuck-up and snobby. Guess they don't know her well enough and that is too bad. She hates her time wasted. She is so broken heart when some teases her about things out of her control. The other night at the homecoming dance, she missed the Royalty dance and Andrew the King was left on the floor until someone else joined him. Some gossiped that she was off with her date. Truth was she was told Royalty pictures would be at 9 in the little gym, so the went over at 8:57. No one ever told her the dance was first. They waited at the pictures and when everyone showed up they told her she missed the dance. She was horrified and feels awful and people won't let it go. It was an honest mistake and no ones fault, just something that happened.

Love To You and Your Family Kim

This posted by Kim says it all:

R.I.P. best mommy i could ask for. i love you mom. always will. Clara Vaughn Duce October 28, 1963-October 11, 2010. ♥   Kim

Life Is Too Short

I am going on with life like normal, but one of my teenage friends is losing her mom to cancer as we speak. I feel so helpless in what to say or do for her and her family. It is so strange how after going through loss myself, I still find it hard knowing what to do to help others. I can't change the outcome of what is going to happen. I can't tell her everything will be fine because for a long time it won't. It is hard to lose a parent, but as a teenager it must be painful. I know for Rachel every time something new comes up she can't share it with her dad and it is hard. It makes me cry when I think of both these girls growing up without one of their parents. They are definitely both strong girls, but also very sensitive. You have to keep going knowing that there is a bigger picture. God has a purpose even if we don't understand it. My friend has some rough weeks ahead of her. For now I do know I can pray and give her my love. That is the one thing I constantly needed, the love and prayers of others. Just to know someone is thinking about you helps tons. I love you and your family Kim, hang in there. I will always be available for mommy hugs...I am good at that.

Staying Afloat

It has been a long time since I wrote anything on here! I have been working on proofing the book version before I give it to the proof readers...okay that sounds weird but I am trying to limit the errors!

September was a busy month. I worked for the school district everyday but 3. That makes me one busy substitute! I agreed to work 1/2 days every Tuesday in the office and that will be fun. I am also in charge of the class of 2011 graduation party. That is a major big deal here. I am enjoying it so far and the people that have stepped up to the plate are wonderful. That and substituting will keep me busy this year.

As for life at home, well with every free moment I have I go through boxes of my mom's stuff. Most of it is junk but may have sentimental value to one of us kids. So I have been taking photographs of everything and putting them on a document to send to my sisters so they can see what they want. This has been a huge undertaking. Getting the stuff up here, well that was an experience I would like to forget but it may take awhile. One of the reasons I haven't been on here is because I didn't know what to write about that weekend. I still don't, so maybe I will wait until the words come to me. I will say I was very disappointed in my mom's partner, but I guess people grieve in different ways.

So I guess I am moving forward everyday and trying to stay ahead of it all. I don't feel like I am drowning, I just feel like I am barely getting things done! Life is still good, my kids are all happy, my grandson is the cutest little guy on earth so no real complaints here.

I have had some great times with the teens here and on our trips to Redmond, football games and shopping. Now it is time to start saving $ for our next adventure and time to go dance in the living room....one of my favorite songs just came on!!!