Words Spoken or Written Can Be Powerful

I recently posted a thought on my FB status that has really caused me to think...imagine that!  I learned a long time ago to choose my battles wisely, but choosing my words wisely has been more difficult and come with a much high cost. Words can be spoken with feelings of love, support, kindness and understanding or with hurt, pain, deception and anger, and once spoken, they can't be retracted. 
I can think of words that should have been spoken more like "I love you" and words that could have been spoken less like "I, me, and you," used in the wrong way. This week I spoke up once and actually misjudged, spoke unkindly and was way out of line and twice this week when I wanted to rip someone's head off, I kept my mouth shut. So how do you know when to speak up and when to shut up? 
A good guide to that question might be to speak when it is uplifting, kind or at least done in a loving tone. If what you want to say is a jab, rude, hurtful and just to get back at someone, I guess that would be a good time to bite your tongue. What if the other person doesn't realize how rude or mean their behavior is, well I guess that is their problem to learn from!  It is just frustrating when something becomes a topic of gossip. 
Thought to self: is it really gossip if the party talking was involved in a situation first hand? I guess if it leads someone else to believe in a falsehood, it could be...interesting. 
I also learned that there is no such thing as constructive criticism. Criticism is criticism. Even if you give it in a constructive manner it is still criticism. Words spoken or written can be very powerful. 
So with my first encounter this week, I quickly apologized and made adjustments to my thinking. With the second incident, I tried to smother the other person with kindness and love and with the last incident I ignored it. I know the truth and that is all that matters, others can think what they want and so be it. Which one do I feel best about? The middle one, smothering the person at fault with kindness. Hard yes, but at least my conscience is clear.