Sunday, August 22, 2010

A Start At Thinking Clearly

Sometimes it takes the intelligence of someone else to help us gain our perceptive back. Thanks to a patient teenager, who lives outside the walls of our home, I learned some valuable lessons today. It also opened a flood gate of tears that have probably been backed up since my mom passed away. So I guess it was good to finally let loose and cry. The fact that I had just finished putting on my make-up was a pain but it also enriched the reality of my errors.
We all make little and big mistakes in our lives but owning up to them is hard. If I recognize the mistake, I am willing to own up to it quickly and recognize where I was at fault. The step after of forgiving ourselves, is more difficult for me. It is often harder to forgive ourselves.
So what did I learn . . . again, I believe we often learn the same lessons over and over until we get it right, well I learned:
  1. Don't judge unless you are in a court room or have authority. If you only have bits and pieces of the information your judgments will be in error.
  2. Be quick to recognize when you are at fault. There is nothing worse then a friend who won't admit they made a mistake.  
  3. Be loving and compassionate. The written word even with good intentions can be misread. If you have a problem talk directly to someone with love and compassion so information is accurate. 
  4. Trust people who have earned your trust and don't keep making them re-earn it.
It is amazing how much we can learn from our mistakes if we are teachable. I know I learned a lot this time around and I am thankful for a wise youth that can easily forgive.
As for being so emotional? I just went to a spiritual education week full of classes and couldn't bring myself to attend hardly any of them. Maybe I needed to have a good cry and didn't want to do that in front of people so my emotions were very guarded and I stayed away from things that might touch me. I haven't slept much so I know I am not thinking clearly. When I have too much time on my hands, like the 15 hour drive we just did, I tend to think too much or blast music in my headphones so I don't have to think. Which is odd since the lyrics often make me think more.  Oh well, now I have a whole day at home and all I can do is think.
Thank you to all my patient friends who are guiding me through the lessons of life. I believe it is time now to go get a cup of cocoa, sit by the fireplace, work on forgiving myself for stupid mistakes, and 'think' about what the next step is in my life.

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