When there are large gaps between posts, one of two things is happening. Either I am too busy to sit and type something up OR there is so much in my head I am avoiding typing anything. This time it is a little bit of both. I have been very busy working and just being mom. May is never a good month anyway. The year after Mike's death had a lot of first and that was hard. Every time something happened that was a first without him, it took a lot to hold things together. In the letter he left behind, he even mentioned how hard it would be for him to not be here for a lot of Rachel's "firsts" like her first date, prom, etc. So those moments can still be hard.
Now we are coming to the end of the second year. Honestly for me it wasn't as hard as it was just numb. No feelings at all. Our anniversary came and went and I really didn't think to much about it. I posted something on my facebook that day about how it would have been 29 years. A few people made comments to cheer me up, but I wasn't really down. It was just another day. My birthday came and went and it was pretty low key. Rachel and I were both sick and I worked so we didn't do much. Then on Mother's Day Marie and Ethan left for home with Jeffrey so that was a downer day! But I don't cry much at all anymore. It is just numb.
May has brought both highs and lows this year. Lows because of conflicts and highs because of accomplishments. I haven't had so many conflicts with people in a long time. Often it was me doing or saying something stupid and sometimes it was others. I usually have a high tolerance for people but I even lost my patience with a man in a meeting I was in. Not like me at all. I don't feel stressed . . . but then again I am dealing with the IRS still and that is stressful alone!
One of the highs this month would be the school musical. They did "Into the Woods" and I thought they did a fabulous job. Rachel was fantastic at her role as the witch even though she was sick with a sore throat all 6 shows. Her fellow actors did a marvelous job also. This first pic has Danny and Abby as the baker and his wife being visited by the witch next door (Rachel.)
Another high this month was Rachel being elected as senior class president for next year. I am very proud of her because the leadership class has really helped her to step out of her comfort zone and try things that don't come easy to her. Jeffrey is doing great in school still and continues to amaze me with his strength. I am also very proud of Marie for realizing some changes she wanted to make in her life. Change is hard. I hope she does better then I do with that one! All in all, life is good and my kids are amazing. We all have our pitfalls and issues, but who in life doesn't.