Monday, April 19, 2010

In Lifes Up and Downs the IRS is Definitely a Down!

Sometimes I have so much flying around in my head I don't even know where to start. I have been dealing with the IRS again and their back penalty and Interests of $96,000 they think I owe. (Giant gasps inserted at this point) This always makes me crazy when I try to work with them on this. I have been on the phone for three hours now with five different people and still have no answers. Of course my records along with my CPA show I shouldn't have to pay anything, but you try and tell the IRS that!
Still no marker on Mike's grave and it is coming up on two years now. Makes me feel like a real schmuck.
Oh, I am typing most of this during the times the IRS has me on hold. Get this, I need to send in a form 843 for abatement for each year I am requesting. The form has to know the exact amount requested but the IRS can't figure out how to tell me how much each year is for!!! And we agreed to turn over our health care to these people. Is this country NUTS!
On another note, my aunt that lives by me has been in the hospital for a few days now. She developed a rare syndrome called Guillain-Barre Syndrome after having pneumonia. They didn't catch it at first and I feel bad for not seeing her condition as serious as it was. I took her to the hospital the first time and they sent her home. Then I threw my back out picking up laundry of all things and couldn't help at all. I kind of feel bad about it, but there wasn't much I could do. I am feeling better now but I have my work cut out for me taking care of her when she is released in a month or so.
As for me, I had a great weekend traveling with my daughter and our church youth group to Canada. It was wonderful but it also brought up a lot of emotions that I have a hard time dealing with. Each of my kids had a different relationship with their father. Rachel never wants to hear anything about him if it is negative in any way. Of course after being married for 27 years and dealing with his depression as closely as I did, I have lots of memories - good, bad, wonderful and awful. In a lot of ways I am angry at him for taking his own life and so more often my feelings of anger toward him come out in conversations. I think this is normal and part of the healing process, but I can't talk about these types of things around Rachel. I struggle with the doctrine that I believe and with what my husband did. In other words, I don't like him very much right now and I feel guilty because everything in my religion is centered on family. I am not good at being the head of the household. I am not good with imparting spiritual wisdom to my children, and I am not good with scriptures and prayers. Mike always headed that stuff up and I haven't figured out how to fill those shoes. I get through life by just laughing and having fun, it seems to helps with the pain.

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