Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I Will Be Happy When...

You ever heard someone say, "I will be happy when I move into a bigger house," or "I will be happy when I get married."  Happiness does not come when you reach a certain point in your life or have a certain thing. It comes when you decide to be happy. It seems to me I have written about this before, but it is on my mind again. (And I get it, in some cases you may not have total control over your happiness) I have been thinking about this a lot and trying to figure out how Mike did it. How did he survive for so long with so many heath issue and still maintain happiness at least 75% of the time.

Mike was a perfect example of someone who suffered tons but chose to be as happy as he possibly could. When he felt good, he did everything he possibly could to serve and help others, to study, pray and worship. That is what helped him to fight his health issues for so long. In the end it wasn't just the depression that got him. It was not getting the right help from a stupid doctor and getting news of a failing body due to his diabetes. I think he knew the medical bills from failing kidneys, urinary track and other complications due to the diabetes would ruin us financially. I think he saw how happy we were over at the new house while he was gone most of the time and I think he realized we could make it without him. Mike never got angry at God or lost faith in Him or lost faith in what he believed in. As much as I hate some of the things we went through together, Mike is the one that taught me to be strong. He is the one who never blamed God or walked away from Him, he knelt in pray and read his scriptures daily. Mike's strength in the gospel is what keeps me moving forward today without him. He endured and then in a weak moment with no one around to help him, he gave up on himself, not on God or his family, but he gave up on himself. If he chose to be happy for 75% of his life with those trials, I should be able to chose to be happy at least 95% of the time. Since I have never met anyone as bad off as Mike had been, then that tells me most of the time everyone can choose to be happy sometimes. At least that is how I see it.

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