Saturday, December 6, 2008

For Every Few Good Days, There is Always a Bad One

After a wonderful Thanksgiving with the kids, things were going pretty good. Then out of no where bang, a bad day hits. I guess that is life. Rachel has been seeing a therapist for her anxiety and it has been a good experience. One of the things we talk about is Rachel's feelings of the "loss of security" due to her dad's passing.
The loss of her dad has caused a lot of different types of insecurities. She stresses over school especially math, she stresses over money, and she stresses over more loss. So when we woke up Friday morning both having had crazy dreams, our day was not off to a good start! Rachel dreamt that we were in a convenient store and some guy got mad at his wife at the pump and shot her and then came in and shot me 4 times. Although I didn't die in her dream, I was innocently shot in front of her and Jeffrey. It was very disturbing to her and she was concerned all day about what if she loses me too. It didn't help that she had a math test too. She went in and started the test during lunch and was still the last one to turn it in at the end of class. As soon as I picked her up from school, she had a melt down. I fed her, hugged her, and just listened. She hadn't eaten all day which is not good for her. Rachel puts way to much pressure on herself.
As for me, I had a good day but I had a crazy dream too. In mine we were stopping at the Redmond house to check on it and we walked in to find Mike packing stuff to take. He had faked his death and was running out on us. I was so mad at him. It was so real and weird. That is the first time I have dreamed about him at all. Dreams are so weird. I don't know what triggered the dreams that night but later on when I talked to Jeffrey, he had a weird dream that same night. He just couldn't remember it anymore. So I guess our subconsciousness's are trying to tell us something??? Who knows. I am SO glad I have a wonderful relationship with my kids. We are always able to talk, cry, hug and laugh together. They have been a great support to me these last few months. It will be sad when Chris and Marie leave at the end of the month with Ethan. I have decided I don't want to work full time until Rachel is done with school. She still needs me to be flexible for her. I hope others are having a good week and great holiday. Hold on to your dreams. . . but not your nightmares!!!!

1 comment:

Super Angie said...

I recently got back from China, so I hadn't seen this post until today. I'm so sorry Grace.

Love you and your still in my heart!