I am finding that I am keeping myself overly busy with work, listening to loud music so I don't have to think, and just avoiding certain things. Weird. What am I running and hiding from? Loneliness? I often find myself trying to take care of everyone else that I forget about taking care of myself. I am begining to wonder if I purposely take care of everyone else so I don't have to deal with myself... just a thought.
I need to get out an exercise. That is something I love to do, it is healthy, and I have been cleared by my physical therapist to go back to. So now where is the motivation? I always get this feeling I have to "look" better to ever attract someone but I just don't care to jump on the band wagon of being something I am not. For me to ever be this skinny attractive lady it would take an obsession with exercising and a lot of unhealthy pills. Been there and down that once, not interested in that again. It is werid because I am happy, I am just in the funky place.