Thursday, December 10, 2009

Trying to Smile Through the Pain

 So I have dealt with pain; spiritual, emotion and physical. I usually push through it and come out smiling. I am about at the end of my tolerance for the pain I am having now. I have a very high tolerance for pain so this is very unusual for me. I have been dealing with this on and off bursitis for awhile now. This time I had 3 weeks of straight level 8-10 pain. Then I received a cortisone shot and it lowered the pain but didn’t really work well this time.

I have been to physical therapy, tried massages, had 2 MRI’s and an x-ray, used flexor patches, taken vicodin, used heat pads and I even bought an ultra sound device that penetrates heat into the hip. All this and I have had very little relief. I can tell because it is getting harder to smile and hide the pain. People are noticing so that tells me I am not dealing well with it anymore!

Today I have another appointment with a specialist and my regular doctor says it may be more then bursitis in my hip. The MRI on my back showed some irregularities in the lower back area. That is the area that took the brunt of our rollover car accident in 2002. So maybe we will get to the bottom of this. Walking can get so painful sometimes.

Yesterday my youngest asked me to bring her something. In my mind I was thinking ‘get it yourself’ but I painfully got it anyway. I am afraid one of these days I am going to snap and yell at someone. This is so not like me. Maybe I have just hit the limit of pain a person can handle in one year! To rephrase a movie quote in my own words, "Just keep smiling, just keep smiling."

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