Tuesday, November 10, 2009

It Will Not Happen In My Family Again!

Things I have learned:
  • I will not allow the disease of depression to take another family member without putting up a major fight.
  • No one has ever been in the exact situation I am in so thanks for the advice, but honestly you don't know what is best, I do. I do appreciate suggestions, advice, talking and stuff, but I don't have to follow it. Right now I am in control, I do know what I am doing, and I am thinking clearly and in the best interest of my family.
  • No doctor is going to shut me down and not listen. I proved that this weekend and they actually thanked me after they listened. They could also tell that I knew what I was talking about and that I am capable of dealing with the current situation.
Having said all that, I better explain where those comments are coming from. My daughter Marie also suffers from depression. Although hers is very different from my husband, it is also the same. Where Mike would surround himself with positive things, service and good music, Marie has always surrounded herself with depressing music and negative things.

Her medicine was changed in September and never worked. So she was hitting a major low. I talked her into going back to her doctor last week and he gave her a new prescription but she never filled it. I called her most mornings to make sure she was up and taking care of Ethan. Her life revolves around Ethan right now so she was doing the best she could. I bought the house she lives in and made sure Jeffrey moved in downstairs to keep tabs on things when Chris is gone. I have had a plan from the day Marie moved to Utah.
Jeffrey came home Saturday night to find Marie unconscious on the kitchen floor from taking too many sleeping pills. She did not want to die; she just wanted to sleep away the pain. Now some people may say, "what was she thinking." May I correct you, she wasn't thinking. If I have learned one thing about this disease, it keeps the mind captive from thinking. Consequences of your actions is not part of their thought process. The pain she was talking about was not physical it is mental and when your meds are not working you cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Jeffrey called 911 and Marie was taken to the hospital. This was my first encounter with doctors because Marie wasn't conscious to sign a form allowing information to be released to me. They did finally listen to my information even though they couldn't give me info. Naturally it helped them. I had to deal with flights, Red Cross, getting info to her husband in Iraq, etc.
Marie is fine and stable and is being treated in a psychiatric ward. This is a good thing. I put Mike through hospitalization once and it was very helpful. I did a 24 hour flight there and home. I got to see her and she will pull though this. She feels ashamed and stupid, but like I said she was not thinking. I brought Ethan back with me so he can be taken care of. I have ALWAYS had a major problem with child protective services (what a joke) so I told Jeffrey that until I got there if anyone showed up they needed a search warrant to step in my house! So Ethan is with me and having fun. He loves it here with the big yard and dog. He gets to talk to his mommy by phone daily. When Marie is released, she will be living under my care. We will have a controlled environment for her. Part of that will be designed to teach her to take better care of herself and Ethan.
What I have learned from the last few years is that I have an amazing network of friends. I am thankful for all your prayers and love. I am thankful for those who thought for me when I was foggy. Thanks for the rides, packing, talking, food, prayers, and for being a part of my life.


Grace Marie said...


I'm happy Marie and her family have you:) please remember to take care of Grace too. Much love, ~Gayle~

You rock, Amazing. Crystal Weldon

Keep on keeping on Grace. Barbara Yake Lee

You go, girl!!! It is so awful when the privacy laws and the doctors get in the way of helping people. Your family is blessed to have you doing what you need to do and you are an inspiration to all of us.
Jae Hutter Geller

You are both in my heart and prayers. Go gettem kiddo, you do know what is best! Hang in there. Twyla Bunt

Grace, I am in awe of your strength. Your children are blessed to have you as their mom. Sending love to you and your family. I'm so glad we're friends.
Connie Myers

Sending my love to you all. You go girl! I will pray for you and Marie.
Healy Landis

You're an amazing Mom. Thank you for your strong example. You're incredible. : )
Melinda Kimball

I wish you the best of luck and hope Marie is home soon. Enjoy playing with your grandson.
Kate Trusler

Grace Marie said...

I realized this almost sounds like I think I know better then a doctor does. I was talking mainly about the advice of the common spectator. I do listen to doctors, but I have also learned to ask lots of questions and make sure they have all the information.
I also know when it is no longer my "job" to be calling the shots. Marie is married to Chris and while he is here, he is in charge. I do know when to step back and not intrude. Thank you Chris for being strong and loving my daughter.

Super Angie Waibel Miske said...

Grace---God bless you and Marie and Jeffery (and that cute little grandson!).

Marie said...

Two things:

1. I DID fill out my prescription, and I even tried picking it up the next day but the stupid pharmacy was closed, but I didn't go back the next day (which was Saturday)

2. I was not unconscious when Jeffrey found me, just delirious or something...I was holding one of Ethan's toys and singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star...I didn't lose consciousness until they put me in the ambulance.


Marie said...

P.S. Thanks everybody :)