Thursday, November 12, 2009

Correction, Updates and Memories!

I need to correct myself. After a friend apologized for some suggestions she made I realized I may have intimidated friends from wanting to suggests anything to me! That is not what I meant. I appreciate wholeheartedly the ideas, books, medical info and stuff that has been given me. I still may not follow it, but I do appreciate it. What drives me crazy are the suggestions that come with "you are under stress and not thinking clearly you have to do this..." or "I don't think you can handle this maybe you should...." It is the comments or suggestions that are given with the attitude that they know better then I do because I am under to much stress or pressure. I actually perform better under pressure most of the time. So please don't take what I said wrong and be afraid to suggest books, doctors, supplements, and other ideas. I had a person tell me after Mike's death that I didn't know how to grieve properly because I wasn't do what he thought I should be doing. I am the one coping well and he is still trying to understand and figure out why his family member took their life years ago. So I am sorry if I offended anyone with my previous post.
As for the update, Chris arrived safely from Iraq for a short emergency leave. We had a conference call family meeting and Marie discussed with us her "plan of action." She talked about what she needed to change in her live, goals she was setting and all kinds of stuff that she had to fill out in a workbook before she could be released. After hearing her take responsibility for her actions and future Chris and I were able to give added opinion. The hospital made sure she had a plan. She is sounding great and we are hoping that her new meds will kick in quickly. I was very pleased with how they handled her case. It made me very sad to think about when I hospitalized Mike in the psychiatric ward at the University of Washington in 2000. They had him do some of the same activities but added pointless art activities. They never had me involved with anything and I was never talked to by his doctors. Maybe I am forgetting something but I remember coming away from his hospital stay feeling like "what do I do with him now?" With Marie we have a plan, we were involved in the discussion of it and her doctor's seemed to rely heavily on the support of the family. I wish I would have had that with Mike.


Nemeth Notes said...

My youngest sister was just in the hospital a few months ago for doing the same thing... It is so scary but was a huge wake-up call. She now knows (hopefully) that she needs to be checking in with some type of therapist at least twice a month so they can gauge her moods better. Her husband was letting her handle her meds and regulate herself but the decline in mood was so gradual that when she hit bottom it was almost too late. I am so sorry Marie hit that low - I know the hospital does a good job of helping them get back on their feet but now you have a huge job of helping her to go on. Let me know if there is anything we can do to help. We love you all!

Wendy Jean said...

Your children are so lucky to have you and your positive attitude! You are the one chosen to guide them and hold them when they fall! My prayers are with you all!

Amy Taggart Warner said...

On facebook (probably the day she took the pills) Marie was posting about wondering why it is wrong to die...that her Dad dealt with this for 52 years and it didn't get better... those out of the loop don't realize how serious she was.
It seems like if she does journal and writes all the reasons, when she isn't so depressed, why she would talk herself out of such a course of action... don't know if seeing what she writes herself would make any difference.
I can only guess that you must be running the whole gamut of feelings--anger, frustration, sadness, worry.... best of luck with everything.

Otter Mum's Den said...

You guys are never far from my thoughts and prayers. Love you all. I just wish I lived closer to give you my hugs in person, but for now, big cyber hugs to you and the kids and grandbaby.

Janice said...

you are perfectly capable of knowing what to do and how to handle this, mostly because you've lived through it once already. Experience is a great teacher and it sounds like things are taking a positive swing. I will keep praying they continue in that direction! You're an amazing person!