I try to teach people to smile and find happiness in whatever life throws at them. Lately several people have alluded to the fact that they think I do not understand what is thrown at them or that I never have a bad day. Today was one of those days everything went wrong, and I just wanted to cry and give up. That is still one of my choices.
I went to check on my pump for my sprinkler system. A company has been working on it for 1 1/2 years and it keeps breaking down. Well, they still have not fixed it. You can tell they come and look at it, but it is still torn apart. Then my one-year-old riding lawnmower broke down as I started to mow the yard. It is no longer under warranty. I am leaving next week for the summer and I am trying to get everything ready for the new occupant of my home.
I sat on the ground by the lawnmower and wanted to cry. I am tired of always having to do this on my own. I looked at the mower and felt helpless. Then I thought about what I teach. Smile; find the lesson. At first, I did not want to. I wanted to cry. For some reason I thought of my dad. He always taught me I could do anything. He was always my biggest fan. Having all daughters, he taught me to fix stereos, work on my car, build remote control boats, and ride a motorcycle. I think he was the biggest influence on me having a positive attitude. He had been through so much throughout his life and I never heard him complain.
I got the tools, checked closely how the lawnmower was built, tore apart what needed fixed and fixed it and put it back together. The good news is it worked and I was able to mow the lawn. Some days it is very lonely here but I still have control over how I am going to deal with it. I started out feeling sorry for myself and wanting to cry, I ended up reminiscing about my dad and finding the confidence to go on.
I will still teach that we have the power to decide how we will react. Sometimes, like today, it just takes longer to react in the positive way. I never said I was perfect. It takes a lifetime to sculpt yourself into the person you really want to be.