Sunday, October 4, 2009

Don't Tell Me I Don't Understand . . .

You know what I don't like? When someone tells you that you don't understand. Understand what? Pain? Frustration? Anger? Loneliness? Do people think they have a corner on the market because they have a symptom to more of a degree then others? Those of us that are old get told by the younger generation, "you don't understand, you're too old, things were different for you." Or we are told by someone who is chronically sick, "you don't know what it is like to suffer on a daily basis." Maybe not from their same aliment, but I think we have all suffered pain, sickness, disappointment, loneliness, heartache, etc.
I know what it is like to try and be strong for everyone else around you. Because I have the ability to see beyond a challenge or trying moment doesn't mean I don't have them. It doesn't mean I don't get down and lose a little faith every now and then.
Pain, well I feel that emotionally everyday when people talk about their husband's and father's and I don't have that anymore. Pain, to move and walk some days because of an aging body and the aliments of an awful car accident. Frustration that I don't know how to take care of this house and yard. Frustration that I don't have all the answers for my kids. Angry that I am in a situation I didn't choose to be in. Angry at myself for not doing the things I know I should be. Angry for 27 years of a marriage with very few, "I love yous" and now none. Lonely when I am home by myself knowing that someday it could be like this every night.
I may not have been in the same exact situation as someone else, but don't tell me I don't understand emotions. Most all of us do. They can teach us love and compassion for others. They can help us become stronger and more helpful to others. Some days can be really hard and the thought crosses our mind, "why me?" At the end of the day I try to smile and think to myself, "I guess I would rather it be me going through this then someone I love." Even with all the stuff I have to deal with, I would gladly take on the burdens of someone I love if it would easy their pain. So don't tell people they don't understand. Express your feelings and let others help you. They may have more wisdom to give you to help you get through then you could ever imagine. And when talking doesn't help, hugs usually do.

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important then a person to be loved." Henry B. Erying

1 comment:

Super Angie Waibel Miske said...

Wow Grace, what a great post! Your strength and the way you are pushing forward is inspiring!