Just Rambling Thoughts

I was going through some pictures and found this cute one of Ethan "driving" Mike's old pick-up! He sat there turning the wheel and not wanting to get out. We had a lot of fun paling around and I miss that.

I finally bought the last thing that was on Mike's list for the house. He wanted a coffee table set, bar stools and a porch swing. Early this year I picked up the coffee table set he had picked out and after it arrived I wasn't sure I even liked it, but it grew on me. I picked up the bar stools early this month and we love eating at the bar and looking at the mountains far off and the cows right across the street. Now I needed the porch swing. So the other day I finally broke down and bought one. After building it, I sat there on the porch for awhile just looking off into the yard. That is when it kind of hit me. There should be a garage built over there and Mike should be working in it. It made me shed a few tears over the fact that what we had planned will never be. I wasn't sure if this made me mad, sad or just disappointed in him. I do know what he chose to do was not fair to the rest of the family, but then again when is life fair?

Well it has been awhile since I was on here. I guess that means I have been keeping busy and doing good. Actually I was spending a lot of time with my grandson before he left for home. So the house is now quiet and clean. I think I would rather have it full of toys and squeals! Ethan loved hanging around outside with me. We would walk to the mailbox, play with the dog, watch the cows, he would do anything to stay outside. He even spent an afternoon helping a young man I hired do yard work. Ethan thought he was pushing the wheel barrel but Hunter was pulling it from the front! I really enjoyed it when he would babble on endlessly to me about what he was doing. I took him to two of the high school football games and he would look around until he spotted Rachel cheer leading. At first he would bury his face in my shoulder if I started screaming for our team but he got used to it. He loves to watch the video I took of the game. We spent our last day together at the Seattle Aquarium.
So now it is back to normal life if you can call it that. I will be working 3 1/2 days this week at the high school. I am substituting in biology tomorrow, how fun is that! Jeffrey better have his cell phone on in case I need help!!! Speaking of Jeffrey he is doing great in school. He is trying to decide where to do his PhD. He has another year to think about it. Rachel is doing great in school and is very involved. She has a good schedule and is handling things very well.
As for me, I am doing good. I hang out with a bunch of teenagers. It would be nice to have some adult companionship (especially guys) but that isn't likely to happen around here. So for now it is late start Monday breakfast for about 20 high school students, weekend movie nights and football games. On Mondays I actually have about 20 kids show up at the house and we cook breakfast before school starts! It is a lot of fun. Even with the kids always around, it does get lonely for adult companionship sometimes.

Reminiscing and Looking Forward To the Future

I recently had some time to do some reminiscing. Like always there is good and bad that comes with that. The online memorial that was kept up for a year on the internet obituary page was bound and printed out before going off line. After it arrived, I sat and read all the wonderful comments people had written about Mike. The good memories, the prayers for our family and the caring concern for our future. It was all very touching.
I also received the hard bound book I had printed from my blog and I was very impressed at how nice it is. (The same company did both books.) For the first time in a long time I have a journal. I love reading my ancestors journals but I am really bad at keeping one. This online journal has worked well for me. What I often forget is that people are actually reading my online journal!

It is interesting that people find it odd that I am doing so well. I get calls from loving family and friends who want to make sure we are fine. I think we are doing pretty good. It is almost like some of them are trying to get me to tell them some suppressed thoughts or feelings that don't exist! I am looking forward to the future and what it holds. Who knows what direction things will go in. That is actually kind of fun to think about.
I am also glad I don't have any weird quirks . . . all my friends are laughing now. I mean I don't have any skeletons in the closet to come back and haunt me and I am not weird in the strange kind of sense! I don't have bazaar habits and idiosyncrasies. Unless you think carrying a toothbrush in the car and wearing socks to bed is strange . . .but that is not bad if that is all that is weird about me!
So I am looking forward to a relationship with a nice normal man that only has two weird quarks like me. I am sure there must be someone out there that fits the bill! In the meantime, I will focus on my family and myself. When I try to figure out what I want to accomplish from here on out, I am really blank. About all I can come up with is:

• become physical fit and darn good looking!!! (lots of hard work on that one!)
  
• travel to France, Denmark and go on a Caribbean Cruise
• Write a book
• spend lots of time with someone I love

Life has been good and the road has been an adventure. I would not trade it and would not repeat it, but I will continue to enjoy it.