Thursday, March 26, 2009

Painful Findings

Some things may never get easier. My accountant needs all I can round up from 2008. Amazingly I am doing a pretty good job at finding things among the 15+ boxes of Mike's business & personal paperwork. It is harder finding the 2008 stuff then it was the 1993 to 2007 stuff the accountant needed! The closer the dates came to the present, the more painful it is for me. Mike had two businesses out of our home. I had to come up with purchases, other expenses and payments for both businesses. After tearing the house apart, I finally found two check registers for the 2008 business account.
I went through and made an excel spreadsheet with auto mechanic credits and debits and accounting credits and debits and then miscellaneous ones that I felt should be considered on the return. It wasn't too bad to do but did take a lot of time.
As I was coming to the end of May in the register, everything got harder. You could see the work slowing down and the deposits fewer. Then I found the check written out for a ticket for not wearing his seat belt! He never told me about that one...maybe that is why he didn't get upset with me when I got my very first speeding ticket last year! The sad entry was for a single ticket to the movie theater. At least he went to the most expensive theater in town. That was not long after my nephew Michael moved out of the house and Mike was over in Redmond during the week alone.
But the hardest entry was one of the last ones. In the register it simply said:
June 27 - for a movie and my last meals
Yes, I cried. He talked to me two more times after that date and never said a word about how he was feeling. The very last transactions were deposits to Rachel and I. He wanted us to have access to money until things could be settled. It was so planned and I didn't see it.


carmen said...

Oh Grace. That had to be so difficult. I can only imagine. I apreciate you sharing your feelings here on your blog. I hope it is doing some good for you to do that. I have always thought you were an amazing person, but now, I have even more respect and admiration for you. I hope you know that you can count me among your friends.

Super Angie said...

I have great memories of Mike doing accounting and mechanical things for Mark and I.

What your post tells me is that he loved you guys so much that he wanted everything prepared for you.


Otter Mum's Den said...

It must have been so hard to get through this... Just reading about the movie ticket and last meals is choking me up and making me wonder about the what ifs and makes me miss Mike all the more. He was a good man and to read about those last deposits to you and Rachel to tide you over until things got sorted out is just so unberably sad. The one thing I am glad about is that you can finally use that release of tears instead of bottling all that pain up inside. Love you, my friend.

Jack Todd said...

Grace there is a great organization called that was started by a friend of mine since Junior High and Marina High. I have seen him on Oprah with his wife several times and he has truly created a wonderful org. I only wish there was someting like this when I wa growing up... You should check out the site and maybe buy the book.

Penny Kjelgaard said...


My heart breaks for you.