Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts

Friday, June 2, 2017

All Depression is Not the Same!

I have been going to a team of doctors for chiropractic and physical therapy work. I noticed that everyone in the treatment area has different symptoms and different treatment. No one is on the exact same care plan. This is good because our issues are different. The same should go for cancer treatment, thyroid treatment, or any other medical issue. They should be specialized to the patient.
So why is it that people think depression is all the same and should be treated the same? This drives me crazy. In a recent conversation my daughter had with someone, he tried to convince her that she could just choose to be happier. Because CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) worked for him it will work for her. Using CBT and DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) can help many people and can be a great tool, but that doesn't mean it will work the same for all.
Take my late husband for example, on more than one occasion, I had walked in the room to find him staring down at his feet with no expression. He couldn't tell me the last time he ate or even if he needed to go the bathroom.
In that state of mind, no CBT or DBT was going to help him. So you say, practice when you are healthy so you can use it when you are not. That might work to a point, but when you have that deep type of depression that should be called a brain disease instead, that does not usually work.
I am no doctor. I am a widow that was a caregiver that spent everyday with my late spouse. I couldn't even get him to laugh at a joke when he was in a dark state of mind. He would stare at me blankly and try to comprehend what I was talking about.
The bottom line, one treatment does not fit all. Educate yourself. If you suffer from depression try everything you can to see what works including therapy, medications, sunlight, exercise, CBT, or DBT. Share what worked for you but do not assume it will be a fit for others. If you are a caregiver, make sure your loved one gets access to whatever is best for them. And then help educate others to get rid of the stigma with mental illness. No one asks for this disease. No one wants to spend days feeling like they are in a deep dark place. Love them, listen to them, and let them know you will be there for them. I love you Marie and all others who have to live with this awful brain disease.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Don't Tell Me I Don't Understand . . .

You know what I don't like? When someone tells you that you don't understand. Understand what? Pain? Frustration? Anger? Loneliness? Do people think they have a corner on the market because they have a symptom to more of a degree then others? Those of us that are old get told by the younger generation, "you don't understand, you're too old, things were different for you." Or we are told by someone who is chronically sick, "you don't know what it is like to suffer on a daily basis." Maybe not from their same aliment, but I think we have all suffered pain, sickness, disappointment, loneliness, heartache, etc.
I know what it is like to try and be strong for everyone else around you. Because I have the ability to see beyond a challenge or trying moment doesn't mean I don't have them. It doesn't mean I don't get down and lose a little faith every now and then.
Pain, well I feel that emotionally everyday when people talk about their husband's and father's and I don't have that anymore. Pain, to move and walk some days because of an aging body and the aliments of an awful car accident. Frustration that I don't know how to take care of this house and yard. Frustration that I don't have all the answers for my kids. Angry that I am in a situation I didn't choose to be in. Angry at myself for not doing the things I know I should be. Angry for 27 years of a marriage with very few, "I love yous" and now none. Lonely when I am home by myself knowing that someday it could be like this every night.
I may not have been in the same exact situation as someone else, but don't tell me I don't understand emotions. Most all of us do. They can teach us love and compassion for others. They can help us become stronger and more helpful to others. Some days can be really hard and the thought crosses our mind, "why me?" At the end of the day I try to smile and think to myself, "I guess I would rather it be me going through this then someone I love." Even with all the stuff I have to deal with, I would gladly take on the burdens of someone I love if it would easy their pain. So don't tell people they don't understand. Express your feelings and let others help you. They may have more wisdom to give you to help you get through then you could ever imagine. And when talking doesn't help, hugs usually do.

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important then a person to be loved." Henry B. Erying